In workshops, how many managers and individuals claimed to have a great deal of empathy and willingness to listen to their team?
And yet, once they had discovered their Insights Discovery profile, they realized that they were not really listening and that they were actually focused more on achieving their objectives.
I have always found fascinating the differences between how we perceive ourselves and how others perceive us.
There can be sometimes a great discrepancy!
For example, some people may say they are assertive, they know they dare to say what they think, but they don't dare to listen to the point of view of others. Assertiveness includes both aspects: self-respect and respect for others.
We all have blind spots in our behaviours, partly generated by the discrepancy between my perception of a situation based on my frame of reference and that of others based on theirs.
That's why these models of emotional preferences and/or personalities are so interesting, because they enable us to develop self-knowledge AND a deeper understanding of our blind spots.
How can you avoid or reduce your blind spots?
Regularly ask for feedback from those around you at different levels: your line manager, your colleagues, your peers, your manager's peers, other partners (customers/suppliers, etc.). In all cases, trustworthy people with whom you can talk in an honest, authentic and respectful.
Clarify what the person likes about me and what would make our exchanges smoother and more efficient. As they tell me how they feel about my behaviours or what they have observed, they do not judge me. Using "I feel that" or "I have observed", for example, will help them to put in words their feedback. => You then always have your free choice as to whether or not take into account the observations shared.
Use an objective metric model such as Insights Discovery (or MBTI, process comm, etc) to develop your knowledge of yourself and others. Choose the model that speaks most to you. A model of this type within a team is extremely powerful for smoothing relationships in a positive way and helping people to develop their communication and way of being with their colleagues and partners. Personally, I chose Insights Discovery because it is both simple and powerful to use and you will keep over time. => Would you like to find out more? Contact me now!
NB. Picture by Jason Hafso on Unsplash
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